Short stories, mini-fables, whispers and notes of nuisance.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Roughing It



Feel around in the tent, I know your bedside water is somewhere. Be careful for my tinkle potty. Yes, I have one and its next to my sleeping bag and the lid doesn't fasten like it use to. And you sure don't want to mistake it for your bed side water. Urine trouble if you do and you know I had tiny Bass and ranch style beans by the campfire tonight. Aint no way I was going outside the tent to do my stuff tonight as its 2 below.
You find it? I know why you so parched. Its because of all that summer sausage you are eating. Any preserved meat will have loads of salty and dehydrator chemicals as they are used to suck out the decay that naturally should be happening to it. You need to eat fresh river food like that Bass I caught. They were tiny but it is fresh and clean of dehydrators like Alkaline.
Good lord you are freakin. Maybe the tinkle potty is your best option. I know you can drink tinkle if you are hard up. I did it once in the Barcade bathroom with my friend Shane. Not bad, but we had to run to the bar to get some water to wash the pee out of our mouths. You may want to find your bed side water before sucking on my Tinkle Potty.
Alright, shit ill shut my hole. Damn its darker than the La Brea Tar pitts in here. And thinking of which, does that thing really exist? Are there really dinosaurs frozen in time in those tar pits and is that the exact tar we use on our roofs? That politician Hucklbee doesnt believe in Dinosaurs. I wish he wouldd take his foot out his mouth and stick it knee deep in La Brea tar. Hell if its true then that sticky pit is what killed all them Dinos, I bet one by one they all jumped in the same bottomless pit of tar until they were all gone. Just like them suicidal chihuahuas that leap off the cliffs of Mexico because its so hot and there is no water to drink and they have been eating processed kibble with dehydrators. I bet you could relate.
Well good night and good luck. All the water talk made me thirsty. Good thing I got my camel pack pillow i sleep on. I just sleep n suck on the tube like an orphaned cougar sucking on an adopted hog tit. Different strokes for different folks and if a lost cat can digest pig milk then i should just skip the foldable camper cup and just pee in your mouth. Remember, camping is fun when you come prepared.

1 comment:

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