Water Friend

Fluoridation Dept,

Water is cleaning my teeth! They say thanks to you and i appresh. I did nothing to deserve this gesture. I feel like I should clean something of yours to return the favor, so i did. You may notice the filtration machine is sounding better and the UV light to kill bacteria is now a normal bulb. Well last night when I was bleaching the outside of the cast iron pipe line i short circuited the UV lamp and shattered the bulb. Broke out of building and ran to 24hr Home Depot and could only get a grow light. Look into this because no telling what is growing in water now. Maybe beneficial growth. Maybe life threatening bacteria. Who knows but i didnt do any studies for it because we both know that cleaning is a top priority in our fields. A clean mouth and facility is A+, right?

Cleaner and drinker of water-

Always Wet and Dank

You feel fine today? Cuz I feel damp, real soaked and dank like but theres no liquid
on me.
My senses are dull this morning, I guess.
I went to brush my teeth only to encounter my mouth was full of last nights dinner.
I think it was chicken salad, I actually couldn't tell cuz I woke up in my half brother's mother's glasses and wearing my step dads dirty laundry.
I sleep in my grandmothers room and the lights stay off while I get ready for school cuz my whole brother and pappy sleep.
They work the night shift real good.
They work it so good that the boss man has them doing it 7 days a week.
My neck has a very painful crick in it from sleeping in the twin size that's become my familys hamper.
I think I blanketed up in somebody's moistened night shift suit.
Thus my plight of having the constant damps.

Tucking Carter

Felix,

Was at the station the other day and i thought of you. Your baggin mouth and your high step shoes always got me hot. Put a stride in my pant. Well ill swing by the store some time and chat you up. I think you do a good job managing the piece of shit. shucks i wish we were closer. Im neckin some dude named Carter now. Hes one upped me in the tube sock tuckin and thats always a plus. Minnie from accounts payable got in alot of Cheese spread and Nan bread from the big meeting so im gonna run.

Ty

Barrel Dump Blower

Dude in Barrel floating off waterfall is my favorite image to think about when Im in the dumps. Wow, that is crazy you know, a Dude inside a barrel tossing around flipping about. That guy needs to be well liquored up and wearing clean johns for that stunt. Preparation would be nada. You just flip inside barrel. Waterfall engulfs the keg and pops it up and catches the woodened drunk in her soft water body. Splinter-faced stunt man doing stumbling choreography as he exits his craft. Belly up to the bar boy! You need to celebrate blowing everybody’s mind, and you did it intoxicated! Champion!

Drive Thru Banking

Pretend you are crying when I pull into the money sucking stall. Im gonna vacumm over my paycheck and you sob like an infant into the mic. Ill say, "Can you send back a handfull of balloons and pens for my baby princess?" Then we split the loot and haul ass out of town.

Lake Placid RV Park

Dear Lake Placid RV Park-

Ive hauled the mobile off your land. Septic tank blew a nozzle and flooded up into the sink, tub, toilet and then some. Carpet soaked with muddy fecal and pee. Ths gaseous noxious air i was breathing made me peter out on the community bench out by the pool. Woke up and little Steven Dorsey had felt the need to mash salted toasted peanut roll onto my face. Due to the circumstances I cannot pay for last months rent. Replacing nozzles and rippin fecal carpet for the next couple of weeks down at the rest stop by exit 18. Should return in a month or so.

Brent Bannes Spot 10A

The Big Meeting

Rockson,

In regards to your request, I agree. Ill prepackage the preping materials and run to the printer for the leaflets. If by any means you cause me drama i will not pick them up. You must calm down or you will jeapordize this meeting. To cut cost which i know you are freaking out about, ill prepare your lunch. I will marinade the chicken in a FedEx plastic letter bag and put all the knives n forks, salt n pepper in the parcel pouch. Everything will be in one neat BBQ package so you wont lose anything. Also, all of your note cards I have arranged by the date you met each client so it will be better for your whacked out brain to find. Good luck and call the land line if you need anything.

Georgain

GPA .04

Im pretty tired but I know I have to keep going. Must learn as much
poetry and math before tomorrow’s finals. The sum of two wholes is
not what thou shall fraction, but if you are prime then it is time to
party in the negative and get sum shut eye to the 3rd power guy. A
real heavy sleep multiplied by a decimal will empty my rest and I
will be back to the square root of the problem. Tired and non
studied. A slumber party on top of a test is hard but my future
holds a drool above a number 2 pencil and a bakers dozen of scantrons.
I pity myself 10 fold and if Johnny arrives at lunch with 4 sodas and
I drink 2.5 I might possibly be awake enuff to find that Robert
Frost's forest road that absolutely no one took. And that has made all
the difference. Im lost in the damn woods with no direction.

Dinner Lake

I planted it in the Mix. The odd subliminal product placement provided by the lottery winning feral child is slide under the smoking hot salsa vocals. There's a good layer of reverb and skunk on the back-masking making the unconscious mind pick up the subtle advertising. This is the oddest ad we have ever juxtaposed in a song. I know the feral child was raised by a pack of rabid Dingoes and the boy is foamy mouth and insane. But to direct the listener to bury a hambone in the waterin hole is whacked. Millions are gonna head to the lake to dinner dig cuz this is a solid gold record for sure. Especially with the drippy beats curling up on that acid jazz trip hip tip. I also can’t take another think tank session with feral freak anymore. You know he likes a warm lap to curl up and sleep on, and my lap is the hottest cuz of my boiling thyroid.

I See The Light and It Is Burning

Monocles,

Where have you been all these years? I can't tell you how relieved I am to finally have an outlet to purchase monocles. Most of my life I have had to make my own by snipping a pair of glasses and the lenses never fit good in my socket. Eye muscles had to strain real hard keeping it in. My request to you is this, please market a monocle shade! I find my eyes get burned when Im signing my bill by the pool at the club.

Ta Ta For Now,

Esquire Hon

Critter Creek Chaos

The extra terrestrial otters floated past me at eye level in my living room. They were transparent and congregated in packs of 8. The violent deaths these creatures endured was apparent in their appearance. For instance, most were coated in motor oil and others were bear toothed. They backstroked and chest cracked ghost shells into the kitchen and vanished in my pantry. Chasing them with curiosity I tripped over a poltergeist beaver dam destroying it. This critters death was more gruesome. Pissed off translucent animal trap bloodied faced beaver used tail and manuvered glowing logs into a pile of reconstruction. He communicated to me in sign language that he was damming up the flow of money filling the pockets of the mafia who built my dilapidated haunted shelter. My anxiety increased as I realized i was in the middle of a no win battle with the mob and the ethereal creek bed pose.

Bird Calls

As birds in Wales have adopted the rings of cell phones as their mating calls, it's been documented that Southside L.A. mosquitoes have been found communicating by gang signs. These insects also appear to suck blood in a sideways headtilt much like the way gang land thugs hold a glock. The vegetable Bok Choy has commented on these findings by stating that if the insect world doesn't put a stop to this behavior then the vegetable world will have to counter attack and learn to communicate by brail. As a person who speaks fluent brail and reads novels written in gang signs, I champion these announcements with glee.