Jesus Christ Superbowl

This years Superbowl was a mess. During the half time show Jesus performed and had a wardrobe malfunction and his bonered wiener popped out and blessed half the stadium. This blessing in demise accidentally multiplied all the Hebrew National ball park franks being munched in the stadium. It was a familiar sight as Jesus loves to multiply food. Just about 500 years ago he accidentally multiplied fish and turned Nehi into wine when he waved a stink finger good-bye to a very naughty "disciplined" disciple by that old river in Galilee.
This new turn of events made God the Father cry a river and flood New Orleans again. Every man, woman, and transsexual on Bourbon street loaded up in Party Arcs to keep the party gods appeased. The wet Jews in the ninth-ward ironically were okay with being flooded. This was because the NFL was sending Kilos of the blessed Koshered wieners to the flood victims as pittance. The Jews ate them on soggy buns and converted to Christianity.
As news about the mayhem became front page headlines, an embarrassed and broke Jesus hid out in Pakistan mowing lawns for money. Symbolically his mower became flooded and he needed to "choke his throttle". When he did, Guam exploded and the world really wanted to crucify the poor guy. Jesus, Jesus whats a deity to do to make a dollar these days. I guess keep your peckerwood tied to your leg when your doing a cover of "Doing the Butt" at the Superbowl. I really dont know what the fuss is all about. I dont really get offended, so please, Go on and wave your stuffs and multiply me some chili con queso. Jesus Christ I am ready for some football.