Assfaced Bodyguard,
Im hurt. Arm is bitterly bruised and face is swelled shut. I have no girlfriend due to the embarrassment. I made a life choice never to drink alcohol because i have such a fear of embarrassment. Well, I'm knocking them back now since I have surpassed the pinnacle of shamefacedness yesterday at lunch.
I was minding my own when you felt the need to sideswipe me with your gorrila arm and plummet me into Carolyn Mother's lunch special. French Dip and Au Jus sauce was all over me and my maidens mother. Then the nerve you had flinging me to the floor and the repetitive face punching, well was this necessary? I guess I could recoup from this if this was all that happened. But then you pulled my t-shirt off my body and used it to cuff my arms behind my back. This exposed all diners to my extra large outty and third nipple, thanks a bundle. All of this humiliation and for what? All I asked for as I leaned toward John Voight's table was for a towelette. He had a plethora of them since he got rib plate.
Question, did you try his ribs or did you order a roid plate for yourself instead? Better yet, I bet you just palmed amino acid powder into you mouth from the 3 gallon plastic GNC container. Maybe this would explain your cretinized face and captain caveman over reactions. Thanks for ruining my life.
Injured and Humiliated
3 comments:
is it me, or do you reference frech dips and au jus a lot?
also...is that a ham-print carpet?
Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.
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