Bronzer and Spliffzen

I apologize for being away so long my plight listeners, Ive been on a 3 week bender. Visiting home this holiday season, I unfortunatley ran into Bronzer and Spliffzen my 2 favorite party reindeers. Bronzer is a glamour buck with a shaved to skin coat thats been fake tanned to a copper bronze. Just above his braided tail he has a magnificent tramp stamp tattoo of a Santa with yin yang eye balls. His hoofs are usually painted glitter speed boat gold or sometimes he will add little touches to the hoofs to mark whatever holiday it is. Hes been on the South Beach diet for awhile and his ribby torso and heroin eyes completes his model appearance.

Spliffzen, on the other hand is way more urban with his Yak hair tail and ankle hoof weaves. He is very robust with a chiseled chest and is the only carnivorous deer I have known. This deer loves to party and he scared the pack at the last gathering when he came out from a squat pissing behind a birch on two legs. He had stuffed lit spliffs in both tear ducts, ear holes, nostrils, and about 5 in his mouth. Arm legs were flailing and he was wheezing an awful zombie noise while dropping droppings. The pack dispersed in all directions with hind legs a kickin in some kind of defense mechanism reaction. Crazy pot faced deer scared the bejesus out of me and I high tailed it back home. Im sobering up with some horny goat weed tea and have stored all the knives in the basement in case these week long hangovers give me the stab tendencies again. Whipped this little letter to keep you informed.

Yours in Plight,
Hollis