The World is Yelly and Tissied Over the Cost of Oil

I don’t know what the big deal is with everyone
freaking out on the price of a Barrel of Oil.
I drive everyday, and I put about 6 quarts a year
in the Buick. It costs me 30 bucks a year, tops.
It is really is no big deal.Also, the price is
like 76 dollars for an oil barrel and all countrymen
and world inhabitants are just raving mad. Too me
it seems about right because I have priced just the barrel or
what they call a 55-gallon drum and it alone is 50 dollars. The oil
industries, I am sure, get the drums wholesale.
So lets say they spend about 25 dollars on a bargain barrel.
Well the rest my friends is oil. Oil is a liquid made from
extinct animals. These animals ate plants and other
animals during their life span then died and we put
their liquid remains in cast metal engines to lubricate
the friction hot parts that make a Buick go. Sounds
creepy and guess what,it is.

Lets get Wallmart on this issue. I say we have a store where
you can purchase an actual barrel. I figure 4 quarts in a gallon,
and I use around 6 quarts a year. Then a full 55-gallon of barrel
oil will last me most of my life. Hell, the store could tack on
an additional 25 dollars per barrel drum and it would still be a
beneficial purchase. We could even go a step further and make the
barrel out of plastic or waxed cardboard like an ice cream
gallon bucket. This would be way cheaper, and the price for
a Barrel of Oil would be lowered for sure. This would quiet the
world’s mouth, and maybe we could pay more attention to the
animals around us and think about what other ways we can
use their remains. Take for instance those foreign Whalers.
They are on to something by turning that stinky whale blubber
into pricey good smellin parfumes and eau’s de toilettes.