Appetizer Toilet

I have installed my new appetizer toilet in the Kitchen. It sits perfectly right by the breakfast table and matches the rest of my 50’s diner chairs. Its perfect! Nice white ceramic with a bread seat. I just fill the back with Olive oil and toss some calamata olives into the bowl. No need to refill that terra cotta tiny appetiser bowl with extra virgin olive oil. Now, I just sit on my bread seat and tear off a chunk and dip between my legs. Sometimes i grab an olive turd and place it on some torn bread seat, it's tasty.
After about a week when the bread gets moldy i just flush it and bake up a new one. It is so simple to operate and clean up is a breeze. No need for scrubbing bubbles and toilet brushes to clean it. With the appetizer toilet I just grab a french roll and stick it on a wooden spoon and go scrub me up some grub. I got creative recentlty and cut the paper towels in half and stuck them in a TP holder by the salt n pepper shakers. Makes for a dynamic place setting and Frank Loyd would appreciate it’s functionality.
Some day I hope to have a matching desert toilet with a chocolate grahm cracker seat with Strawberry Quik in the tank. Christ, all this thinking out loud has got me concerned about the main course. Can’t see myself sitting on a meatloaf seat with gravy in the tank. Maybe I just saw my oven to table height and move it between my kitchen toilets. Then I can just eat from the pots n pans while the food cooks. Hehehe, that’s fantastic and it smiles up my face cuz I know ive made clean up easier and best of all the food will always stay hot…………….
Still thinking out loud here. I think I can still skip some more steps and make my life better. Now, if I can manage to get a bar of soap to taste like meat then id be set. If that was the case then id never have to clean a dish again. Burb up a bubble and call it a night! Hell, I could just cook soap in bed if there was a pillow burner and id never have to leave my nest again. Even better, I could knock myself in a coma, and shit, Id never have to do squat for the rest of my life. Brilliant efficiency, I love you.