Davey, Davey Cock It

Everyone knows about Davey Crockett's coonskin hat. But why does no one talk about his very innovative coonskin boots? These things were like a terra forma trout line out in the woods. Ol Davey wood runaround hunting and all them horny coons would see that tail jiggling and run after his furred feet. Ol Davey would just cock it back n shoot. A horny coon never had a chance. Dead male coons were spermed up and had a very tender tangy meat. Plus the hydes could make all kinds of apparel from hats, boots, and thongs with a novelty coon tail penis. He sold the later at Spencer’s Mercantile which later became Spencer Gifts.
Shooting coons was good money but he had to deal with them horny hauntings. Zombie coons would come out at night looking for coon poon and bite on his shoeless sleep feet. He would kick on his bed roll all night and holler and cry in sorrow for them dead coons. He was like the King of The Wild Frown Tears in the evenings. Then by day it was like he had zero feelings at all running around with a raccoon head ontop of his own and slingin a virgin coons backside tail dong with pelt between his cheeks. Despicable demeanor Davey, I hope them zombie coons finally consummate your feet and impregnate those corns with coons wearing Davey dong thongs.