Comments from the Patron of the Food

Owner of eating shop,

You expelled some odors upon the dinner.A plume of stink that feather fell from the HVAC upon our courses! It reeked havoc and i would have taken off my socks and stuffed the AC exhaust pipe myself, but i was on a date and i didn't want to show my special one my ankle dirt scars. Odors so bad I nor my companion could finish eating our fried foul meals. I appreciate the time it takes to defeather the foul and baste n simmer and everything, but smells are just as important in culinary preparation as are ingredients. Take these things under close inspection. A person who consumes ye grub Dear Sir should not have to smell ye burned cankerous chicken udder no more! I am very handsome but that does not mean I am a deodorizer of ye establishment. I am merely easy on the eyes and have next to nothing to do with scents. Pardon my intensity but the miasma coming from the duct zapped 3 years off my life. Thank you for your attention.

Patron of the Food

Turkey Journal

Turkey Journal Nov 24-

Thanksgiving was rad. Had an amazing turkey and found a heavenly bite that really captured that Thanksgiving spirit. May keep her around to suck on and see what she's all about. She has a gorgeous build.

Turkey Journal Dec 5-

Sweety lost her flavor. This turkey bite finally lost her taste. I have chewed on it for 12 days. Kept putting turkey bite in petri dish before bed.
I cant even bare to swallow her. She was tender and gorgeous. Now that it is all said and done i may make tiny wig and google eye her front to preserve her in human form. Would be rad to yank a hair out of my head and use it softly to paint little lips on her. She is still damn pretty even though her essence has been suckled out.

Turkey Journal Dec 8-

Decided that maybe its best to coat her skin in urethane to protect her from collecting the stench from my place. The miasma from my pad makes most visitors choke. It must be my shoes next to my brisket bites from Easter. I really need to invest in some odor eaters for my kicks, they could reek run a mile on sheer odor power alone. I should also invest and have Sweety bite immortalized in bronze.A hard metal with a green patina could mimic her natural putrification. My taste buds have salivated a river just handling her.Im gonna search the carcass in the fridge for her sister. Sister will be older and less tender, but Im at a loss here and I need something with a little zesty zing to suck on.